Red Headed Slut
by D.Kinney
Summary: Jasper is in bed with his dream man. Too bad it's his first time having sex with a guy, and said guy only wants to have fun. Jasper is after romance. What will Jasper have to do to get Edward to commit? Would it be worth trying? AH, M/M-Edward and Jasper-Rated M for male adult intimacy - keep away if you're under 18.
1. Chapter 1

**AN **

Hey people! I'm sorry I haven't posted almost anything for so long. I won't open my heart in here to justify my absence and the lack of posted stories. All I have to say for myself is that I have been distracted with so many things!

This story was boxed, waiting to be betaed for too long. Now it has been betaed by the FAAAABULOUS **sue273**! Thank you so much bb!

Good news is that the story is complete and betaed to the end, ensuring regular updates for you!

I want to dedicate Red Headed Slut to a few friends of mine who are the reason I still write!

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970**!

Thanks girls! You are AWESOME!

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

This was it.

This was the time.

And it was happening with _him_.

Jasper, lying on his stomach on Edward's bed, was surprised with how things turned out that night.

He felt Edward's lips brushing his skin, kissing, nipping, loving on him like he had never seen Edward do with any other. Jasper's skin burned at the touch of Edward's hands, pulling him closer, grasping, kneading. His breathing was harsh and ragged; his moans were needy and loud.

Jasper could feel Edward's cock hard against his ass. He could feel it moist with pre-cum, twitching, growing bigger, demanding.

He could hardly believe it.

* * *

_It hadn't been long since he moved across the street from Edward's. _

_He was finally free to live his life as he wished. _

_Jasper had always felt like a weirdo since his teenage years, when all his friends had porn stashes full of disgusting pictures and videos with heterosexual couples fucking, and they all gathered in the basement to watch and ogle breasts and shaven pussies. _

_It was not that Jasper couldn't appreciate a beautiful woman; he thought he couldn't deal with the vulgarity of it all. _

_After years trying to deny it, moving in with his girlfriend in a failed attempt to change his own nature, Jasper gave in—he liked men. Alice—his girlfriend at the time—was surprisingly helpful and supportive once Jasper finally accepted the truth about his sexuality. Alice had a gay brother herself and understood what Jasper was going through. Liam—her brother—had been through the same thing. _

_Since he started feeling comfortable in his own skin as a gay man, Jasper started experimenting. He had been to gay clubs, dancing the night away, grinding against others, feeling others grind and rub against him, hands stroking his bare chest, lips nipping the skin of his neck, fingers caressing his cloth clad cock, and it all felt incredibly exciting and sexy. _

_Jasper had hooked up with a few men during those insane nights, but never had the courage to go any further than kissing, grinding and being on the receiving end of blow jobs._

* * *

Edward's lips moved downward and so did his hands, skillful fingers sliding down Jasper's sides. Jasper felt the trail of kisses leading down to his crease, making him shiver—maybe because of Edward's breath over his moist kissed skin or maybe in anticipation of what would probably happen once Edward's lips reached their destination.

Jasper also felt the loss of contact from Edward's hard length once Edward stood on his knees to position himself behind him so he could slide down Jasper's body.

Jasper felt his heart race and, for a split second, he questioned if that was how he wanted his first time having sex with a man to be.

* * *

_Since the very first time he'd seen Edward, he felt something inside him shifting—yearning, lust, an impossibly stronger attraction he had never felt before. _

_Edward was beautiful! Six foot three of well-shaped, lean muscles, a broad back, sinful rainforest deep green eyes, and sexy brown-copper highlighted hair that stuck out everywhere, giving him a freshly out-of-bed look any time of day. _

_Edward moved lazily and from what Jasper could notice, was really friendly with the neighbors, especially the old ladies who co-habited their street._

_Something else Jasper noticed was that Edward was a slut. _

_During the day, his house was silent, quiet—no one in, no one out. But in the evenings, things changed and Jasper had witnessed it many times in the last three months. _

_Edward's blinds were transparent against the light._

_Jasper never thought of himself as a voyeur, but there was nothing he could do but observe from across the street, once the object of his new found affection was fucking half of the mid-twenty year old citizens in town. _

_Edward didn't seem to have any prejudice—he fucked both men and women; it didn't seem to matter what color or race they were, their height, hair color and Jasper imagined even religion wasn't a problem either. The only thing they all had in common was that they were beautiful._

_Jasper was surprised that fact didn't put him off. He couldn't picture himself with a man like that, but every time he caught a glimpse of Edward, he felt his heart jump inside his ribcage and his breath speed, and he couldn't stop staring at him until his image disappeared somewhere. _

_Jasper watched as Edward had sex, thrusting frantically into his partner. It was usually fast and raw and no one ever spent the night, usually leaving Edward's house after taking a shower, sporting a lazy smile on their lips._

_Jasper knew it didn't happen every night, and the people sometimes arrived with Edward from a night out or something of the sort. _

_He wondered if Edward was a sex addict or maybe a whore._

_Something didn't add up, though—he seemed to be a nice, normal guy apart from his Greek god looks. He smiled a lot and seemed to know everyone in the neighborhood but Jasper—unfortunately._

* * *

"Beautiful… You taste so fucking good… you're gorgeous."

Jasper heard Edward's words and his hairs were up everywhere—goose bumps breaking all over his body with the husky sound of Edward's voice. He sounded lost, maybe in a parallel dimension, completely submerged in a world where only the two of them existed.

All mixed thoughts that crowded Jasper's mind stopped as the redheaded Greek divinity tentatively lapped his tongue over his hole for the first time, repeating the movement over and over with more determination.

Jasper moaned unashamedly, moving his hips, thrusting forward, shoving his cock against the bed then pushing his hips back to meet Edward's face, enjoying the exquisite feeling of Edward's mouth on him once more.

Jasper's right hand let go of his cock and grasped the bedspread beside him, mirroring his left one, trying to ground himself, afraid of just lifting off and flying out of the window—the sensations Edward's tongue were creating were that heavenly.

Edward's fingers were sinking into his ass cheeks, parting them, bettering his access to Jasper's entrance as Edward lapped from his scrotum up to his crease then down again.

* * *

_Jasper felt like a perverted man peeking through the drapes of his bedroom on the second floor of his house. Edward was in bed with a man. It was the first time he ever saw a man in Edward's room. He couldn't tell if he was excited for finding out Edward was not straight, or if he resented the fact that the man in the room wasn't him. _

_He could definitely tell the two men apart. Edward was well-built but the man was muscled, army-like; he had cropped hair and was a bit shorter than Edward. _

_Jasper remembered Edward's face buried in the 'soldier's' ass, as he remembered the onslaught the poor man suffered right after that. Edward thrust hard and heavy, nothing like he did with girls. He was raw with the man—no kissing, no tenderness—only blunt fucking. _

Jasper shivered, afraid to be attacked like that. _What was he thinking when he walked into Edward's room, following the man as a puppy, being pulled by his warm hand?_

* * *

Jasper should be drunk. Too bad he wasn't a drinker—some alcohol would have helped numb the pain he would surely feel once Edward pounded his ass as he had seen him do with many other men during those three months he'd been watching him.

Maybe he was drunk with hormones or adrenaline or some other kind of chemical his brain must have produced at the thrill of being not only approached by Edward but taken by him that night.

Jasper felt Edward's right hand sliding down his thigh to the sensitive skin behind his knee, pushing it up to his side, leaving him completely open to him. As his hand slid back up his leg, he felt Edward's hand pull his cock back as his tongue glided from his ass down, over his scrotum, until it reached the head of his cock. First gathering his pre-cum with the tip of his tongue, then sucking his head into his mouth hard, making Jasper mewl in pleasure.

"Such a beautiful cock… it fits perfectly in my mouth." Jasper heard Edward's whisper—probably to himself—as he let go of his dick for a few moments.

Jasper felt Edward licking up and down, from Jasper's hole to the tip of his cock, sucking quickly on his head a few times before letting go and resuming the licking all over again.

Jasper couldn't remember feeling this good—ever. He was holding off, trying not to come into Edward's mouth as he had failed to do a few minutes before, when Edward was sucking on his cock, practically begging him to come in his mouth when he noticed Jasper was trying to last longer.

He couldn't remember ever watching Edward sucking a guy off before.

It didn't really matter. So far, everything was so fucking amazing he could hardly care for anything else he had seen, known or done in his life!

So, as he felt Edward engulf his cock into his mouth again, Edward's fingers started to invade his entrance. It felt so much better than his own fingers in there.

The intrusion was welcomed, as Jasper rocked his hips back and forth into Edward's hand, feeling Edward stretching him with one, then two, then three fingers. Edward was gentle, loving, lapping his tongue around Jasper's cock head, alternating the sucking with kisses on his ass and thighs.

Jasper's heart was pumping wildly, his breathing was out of control and his body was shivering in ecstasy. He could hear his own moaning and gasps, but he didn't care. He wanted to enjoy it to the fullest.

When Jasper felt Edward's fingers sliding out of him, he froze. He was so still it seemed to him that even his heart had stopped.

Edward moved back to his knees. Jasper heard the noise of foil being ripped, and soon felt the head of Edward's cock being pushed against his lubed puckered flesh.

It burned.

It burned and ached.

Jasper closed his eyes hard, creasing his forehead, opening his mouth in a muffled cry against the bedspread.

Slowly, Edward's length filled him—he was long and so hard.

Edward lay on top of Jasper, making him feel safe in his arms. He held him, pulling him against his chest, and as he started thrusting slowly, Jasper felt his lips on him again, everywhere Edward could reach, sucking on his skin gently, kissing him, his breath warming the skin it touched. Jasper could feel Edward's hands stroking his skin; the movements so slow and tender, made Jasper feel wanted, cared for.

So that was the mix of pain and pleasure Jasper had heard of, but had never experienced before, he thought. It was strong, powerful, maddening. At every thrust, he felt alive, his heart pounding in his chest, his blood running hot in his veins; the colors shifting behind his closed eyelids were mesmerizing. His cries followed the rhythm of Edward's thrusts.

Jasper reached for his cock again, pulling on his deflating erection, bringing it back to life.

As Edward slid his cock deep inside Jasper—his lips attached to his neck, his chest burned on Jasper's back—Jasper finally felt whole.

* * *

**AN - Blue button, anyone? Reviews are very much appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN/**

So… Hello, people! Thanks sooooo much for all the love you showed me with your wonderful reviews! I'm really humbled by them!

So, here's chapter two. I hope you enjoy it. Don't be too harsh on Edward, he needs time to adjust! LOL

JEEEEEEEESUSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I had forgotten to thank my FANNNNNNNTASTIC BETA **sue273**! But I have a strong excuse! It was 5 a.m. when I decided to post this... I'm definitely not a morning person! **  
**

This story is dedicated to my AWESOME friends

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

You ROCK!

* * *

**Previous chapter…**

Jasper reached for his cock again, pulling on his deflating erection, bringing it back to life.

As Edward slid his cock deep inside Jasper—his lips attached to his neck, his chest burned on Jasper's back—Jasper finally felt whole.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Jesus fucking Christ! You are so fucking tight!" Edward murmured as his length sank into Jay's channel once more, his mind screaming 'fucking amazing!'

Edward was struggling to hold off his orgasm. Every thrust into the blond man's ass brought him closer to the brink. He couldn't remember being so close to coming so fast since he was a teenager. The man was driving him insane and he had been since he first saw him walking through the door into the middle of his crowded living room.

* * *

_Edward was throwing a movie-themed costume party. _

_One way of making people feel comfortable at a gathering like that was to encourage them to bring a friend, he thought._

_The blond, wearing what seemed to be a Greek warrior costume, had come with one of his friends for sure, because he was positive he had never seen him before._

_The man's skin was golden, two shades lighter than honey. 'Did he taste like honey, too?' he thought with a chuckle. _

_His hair was tied in a half pony-tail, much like Brad Pitt's hair in 'Troy'—a few threads of loose hair falling on his face. His blue eyes were pale, looking everywhere and nowhere specific—probably looking for the friend he must have lost in the crowd._

_Edward shivered and felt naked in the middle of the room. His guts were twisting inside him at the sight of the man and it seemed to him that everyone there could notice it. His hand flew to his fucked-up hair, punishing the threads unstoppably, itching to go talk to the man, but scared to death to make a move on the stranger—that was weird._

_He was dying to know whom he had come with, so he went to his friend, Emmett, who knew absolutely everyone in town, or so he thought, to try and solve the mystery. _

_Emmett only shook his head and opened his largest smile at Edward's anguish. _

"_Someone caught your eye, huh? I knew it would happen someday," Emmett teased._

"_Fuck you, Em! No one caught anything here! I just wanna know who is in my house, that's all!" Edward dismissed Emmett annoyed. _

_It was then that he cursed the fact that he held the party at his house. He never drank when there were people in his place. They were his responsibility and he needed to be sober in case one of them needed him. _

_The party went on, but Edward couldn't take his eyes off the stranger in the leather skirt, surrounded by people, soda in hand, smiling shyly and listening more than speaking. He still couldn't make out whom he had come there with. _

_His need to know the man was becoming unbearable and he found it weird that no one had tried to introduce the two of them. _

_The weirdest part of it all was that Edward was wearing a similar costume to the man's. He was supposed to resemble Hector, from 'Troy'. What were the odds? Maybe he could use that as an ice-breaker—yeah, as soon as he could find the balls to go talk to the man._

_Edward had never in his life felt so vulnerable and insecure to approach someone and start a conversation. 'This was borderline ridiculous!' he reasoned. _

_Most of the guests had already left when he grabbed a drink and walked towards the man, his steps resolute, his mind set to end the mess his guts had turned into._

"_Hi! Care for a red-headed slut?" was Edward's opening line._

_The man—who was sitting at the counter of his bar—turned to him with a confused look on his face. _

"_What?" was his only word._

"_Oh! Sorry!" Edward replied lifting the red concoction up, as if offering to the blond, "It's a drink!" he cleared up, smiling, "Haven't you ever heard of it?" Edward finished, trying to smooth things over._

"_No… sorry," the blond man said blushing, but soon recovering from it. _

"_So, who are you supposed to be?" Mr. Gorgeous asked._

"_Hector, from 'Troy'. You?" _

"_Achilles. Same movie," the man said, offering his hand for a shake. _

_Edward shook it thinking "Bingo!" and continued, "Would you like a drink? Or maybe a dance?" He knew he was pushing his luck, but 'what the fuck?' he thought._

"_A dance would be nice."_

_Since that dance—the smell of 'Achilles's skin invading his nostrils and ravaging his brain, the hungry look of his eyes and lack of restraint he showed moving his body sinfully against Edward's—there was nothing Edward wanted more than to taste him, touch him, devour him. _

_As the blond demigod moved in his arms, he couldn't hold back anymore. _

_Edward pulled him into his body, attacking the man's lips, demanding entrance, to which "blondie" complied. The man gave in, holding him, kissing him back, his lips soft and cooperative, letting themselves be sucked into Edward's mouth and bitten as if that was what they had been waiting for all night. _

_Edward had waited all night for the chance of doing that, for sure._

_Muscles rubbing, the sound of moans and groans and gasps, hands moving everywhere, caressing, stroking, pulling closer, hard cocks thrusting against each other through leather as lips sucked and nipped while tongues fought for dominance—the show they were giving should have pleased the audience. _

_But Edward wanted more. _

_A lot more._

_And what he wanted couldn't be done in front of an audience. His head fought his desire—he had never fucked a stranger in his life._

_His group of friends was unique—they were all friends with benefits. It was safer for all of the ones who were not in relationships to get what they needed with almost no chance of going through something unpleasant or dangerous. _

_Edward was the one many came to, knowing what a horny dog he was, and always unattached._

* * *

'I don't wanna come, I don't wanna come, I don't wanna come,' Edward chanted in his head, the need to maintain the contact with his personal demigod bigger than the wish for the ultimate pleasure.

He wanted to please his man. He wanted to make him scream in pleasure and not pain. He pushed his cock oh-so-slowly, trying to make Jay feel worshiped by his whole body, his hands and arms, his lips and even his nose, which kept trying to capture his scent to commit it to memory.

_He couldn't remember being this turned on by a man. He couldn't remember ever needing to suck on a guy's cock—have it hard between his lips and down his throat. But Mr. Gorgeous had an equally gorgeous golden, thick cock. The moment his skirt was off, Edward dropped on his knees and pulled the blonde man's length from his black boxers, tasting his pre-cum before pulling back to appreciate the sight. _

_He was beautiful! _

_There wasn't a single thread of hair on the man's body. Looking up, Edward saw him looking down at him, his fair hair hanging at the sides, the look of surprise on his face._

_His skin was smooth—every plain, curve, crease, seemed to be sculpted by a master; nothing extra-bulky, nothing over the top. _

_Edward's hands traveled up and down the man's legs, as if contemplating art work. _

_As he felt him shiver, he offered, "Wanna sit?" in a whisper._

_His answer was a nod. _

_Kneeling, Edward pushed the man backwards, until the man's knees met the edge of the bed and he sat down. _

_'Achilles's cock was hard and proud. His shaven balls were tantalizing. Edward took one into his mouth, then the other—they felt like silk on his tongue and he loved it. _

_Holding the man's cock in his hand, he noticed the thick vein underneath it and his mouth watered. He let go of his sack and licked the fat dick, lapping his tongue over the vein. _

_His demigod fell on the bed in pleasure, writhing beneath his hands and tongue. His hips snapped up to meet Edward's mouth. _

'_Holy fuck!' he thought, sucking the cock and loving the feeling. _

_Edward sucked him off till the man came with a loud cry, in thick ropes, filling his mouth. _

_Cum taste was not something Edward was crazy for. But he'd have to admit that he liked 'Achilles's cum—it didn't taste as bitter as he remembered cum to do. _

_Blondie's breath was ragged and he seemed to be out of this world, flying somewhere. His hands were on his hair, brushing it as he pulled big puffs of air into his lungs and blinking languidly, seeming undecided whether his eyes should be open or closed. _

"_What's your name? I'm Edward," he offered, curious about the stranger who was turning his world on its axis. _

"_What?" the blond man asked startled, looking down sideways._

_Edward chuckled. He was really out of it if he couldn't even hear him. _

"_Oh!" the blond guy seemed to have finally "landed" and recollected his thoughts, "People call me Jay," he finished. _

_And Jay was even more beautiful naked with his spent cock lying on his belly than he was dressed as Achilles. _

_Edward stood up, but was afraid of lying on top of him. He wanted it really bad, but something was keeping him rooted where he was, looking at Jay. _

_Unaware of his own movements, he took his index finger to his bottom lip. Memories of Jay's mouth on his while dancing downstairs flooded his mind. _

_He wanted to kiss him some more—way more._

_Edward snapped from it once he saw Jay's hand moving, calling him, patting the bed on both sides of him. Edward understood Jay wanted him to straddle him, kneeling on both sides of his body. _

_Slowly, as if afraid of scaring his partner, Edward moved up the bed, crawling up Jay's body. The weirdest of it all was that, at a time like this, with someone else, Edward would have wanted to shove his cock into the person's mouth, but right now, all he wanted was to lean down and kiss the boy's lips silly! _

_Jay's body seemed to be made for him. He lay on top of him and they just… fit. _

_Lapping his tongue along Jay's mouth in a very intimate, slow, sensual move, Edward savored every second of it. His eyes darted from Jay's eyes to his perfect shaped rosy lips. His body moved on top of him, grinding his erection against Jay's growing one. Jay's skin was smooth as velvet, his hands grasping his back and demanding proximity._

_As Jay parted his lips, Edward's tongue slid in, as if finding its way home. The touch of their tongues was tender, gently massaging each other, tasting, caressing. _

_Through the kissing, the remainder of their costumes was being taken and thrown to the floor. _

_As their cocks were skin on skin, they ground together. Jay's moans lulling Edward's movements. There was no rush, no hurry as their bodies danced sensually stroking each other; arms and hands and fingers interlacing, in need of constant contact._

_Feeling his lips raw and swollen, his cheeks cramping from the extensive kissing, Edward pulled back a little to look Jay in the eyes while holding his face between his hands. _

_He could just stare at him like that all night long—there was no need for anything else. That feeling was so foreign, but comfortable and pleasant. _

_That didn't seem like him at all, though. _

_So when Jay grabbed his ass cheeks and pulled him into him harder, his eyes filled with lust. Edward nuzzled his neck and whispered in Jay's right ear, "I wanna fuck you." _

_His heart almost came to a halt in fear—what if Jay said no? This was the very first time Edward contemplated the option of kidnapping someone. He wouldn't have minded if Jay said 'no', but he definitely didn't want to lose contact. He wanted Jay right there where he was, even if the only thing he could do was stare at him, and he regretted being bold enough to make a move on him so soon. _

_Edward had never been rejected in his life and today seemed to be a day for first times._

"_Do it," was Jay's whispered answer._

* * *

And there he was, on top of his honey-skinned man's back. His hands seeking for something, anything he could hold on to—his hair, his arms, his neck. Jay's scent was spicy; his taste on his tongue, sweet. The feeling of being inside Jay was so overwhelming. He felt the urge to be painfully slow, concentrating on the action, feeling every inch of his cock sliding sensually into Jay's silky hole. He would pull almost all the way out so he could feel his head being squeezed by Jay's muscles on its way back in, sliding all the way, feeling the grasp of Jay's tight channel around his length.

As he reached the deepest he could get, Jay moaned and whispered words into the comforter.

In minutes, it all became too much! Edward's hips were free to move as fast as he wished and lust took over his senses.

As Edward sped up his movements—biting Jay's earlobe, neck and shoulders in a desperate attempt to have the man all to himself—Jay moved his head to the side and let out a cry, "Ahhhh... Fuck!"

Jay's voice was fuel to Edward's want.

"I'm so… fucking… full! You're so… so … Ahhhhh!"

Jay's words went right to Edward's cock, now in full fuck mode, his hips undulating as he felt his orgasm approaching like a bullet.

"Fuck! You are so fucking beautiful… So fucking beautiful… Jeeeezzz… Stroke your cock," Edward commanded.

Jay obeyed in a flash and Edward could feel Jay's fist pumping frantically underneath his body.

"Yeah, gorgeous… come for me, come for me, please," Edward begged, unashamed of his urgency, his hips snapping erratically.

The noise of skin lapping and Edward's moans rolled up with Jay's cry as he came, "Ahhhh… Fuuuuck! Feels… fucking goood! Aaahhhh."

Edward came in long spurts inside the condom, feeling Jay's channel in spasms around him. He kept thrusting, his body shivering with the power of his orgasm.

As both came down, hearts slowing and their breathing evening out, Edward observed Jay. He looked spent under him, but his hand was on Edward's face, his fingers moving slowly, caressing his cheek.

The tenderness and affection of that single action made Edward melt. Instead of standing up quickly to grab a washcloth or something of the sort as he would usually did, Edward just let his body meld to Jay's, only pulling Jay to his side, afraid of crushing him with his weight.

After a while of enjoying the feeling of Jay's body so close to his—their exchange warm and moist from spooning Jay from behind—Edward felt his cock softening. So he pulled it out, but he didn't move to take the condom off, not yet. He wanted to enjoy that feeling for a bit longer—whatever that feeling was.

"Edward?" Jay broke the silence, "what was this party for?"

"It was just a party," Edward tried to dismiss Jay's question.

"Really? Weren't you celebrating anything? You seemed to be…"Jay pointed out already yawning.

"Okay… it was my birthday, but I don't really like the traditional thing about birthdays," he commented.

"What traditional things? Cake? Gifts?" Jay asked looking back at Edward.

"Yeah… that. I don't like people to think their affection for me will be measured by the size or quality of their gift. I know it may sound silly, but I just like celebrating it with friends."

"Interesting. I had never thought of that," the blond man admitted. "But I wanna give you something. Tell me, if you could choose one gift, what would it be?" Jay's voice was laced in sleep.

"Hmmm… Sleep with me tonight?"

As soon as the request fell from his lips, Edward almost chocked in surprise. 'He had never been a cuddler! He was a spacious motherfucker! He needed his whole bed to himself! What was wrong with him, anyway?' he thought.

Jay had his back to him and didn't really seem to notice Edward freaking out.

Edward wanted Jay to say he had to go home, but was afraid of being rejected at the same time. His head wanted Jay to go, his gut wanted Jay to stay.

The demigod, on the other hand, was already halfway to dreamland when he let out a muffled, "hum, hum," falling asleep right after that.

Edward couldn't help but hold him close and kiss his neck, before standing and cleaning up to go back to the party and say goodbye to the last of the remaining guests.

Edward couldn't deny, though, that his heart expanded once he got back to his room and Jay was on his bed, pretty much in the same position he was when Edward left him.

Taking his clothes off, Edward folded himself around Jay's back and, for the very first time in life, cuddled a man and fell asleep.

It seemed that day was the perfect one for first times.

* * *

The next morning, Edward woke up feeling really well rested and for a split second felt everything was right. Until he remembered the night before and realized that Jay was supposed to be by his side on the bed and he wasn't.

'Sneaky son of a bitch,' he though.

A part of him was sad—he wanted to know what it would feel like to wake up and have Jay by his side.

The other part of him was relieved. How awkward would it be to wake up with a nasty breath by someone you hardly knew? What would he say? 'Good morning?' with the sheet covering his mouth? Would he make the man coffee as if they were on a honeymoon?

No. Jay was right when he left before Edward woke up. Maybe he thought the same thing.

Jay.

Was that his name? Was it a nickname? What did it stand for?

He wouldn't know for a while, he supposed. The man was a mystery when he walked into his house the night before, and was still a mystery that morning, after sneaking out.

Edward stood up, took a shower, got ready for the day and, when he climbed down the stairs reality set in—he had to clean the mess.

Sighing, he climbed down the last few steps and went to the kitchen for a garbage bag.

Retrieving all the soda and beer cans that were everywhere, really, Edward heard his front door open and, startled, looked that way—Jay was standing there, wiping his feet on the doormat, a fresh outfit, wet hair and a smile on his face.

"Morning!" he said, looking down at the doorknob while he closed the door.

'Great! A clinger!' was Edward's first thought. But seconds after that, warmth took over his insides and he felt relief at the image of Jay back in his house. Now he could ask him all sorts of questions that came to his mind since he woke up alone that morning.

On the other hand, what was he doing there? Did he drive home to take a shower and drive all the way back there? And what for?

Edward's thoughts and feelings didn't seem to agree.

While his heart told him to jump at Jay and hug him good morning, his head told him to just ask 'what the fuck are you doing back here?'

"Hey… I saw the mess when I woke up this morning. Thought you could use a hand cleaning up." Jay offered. But noticing Edward's suspicious look, he went on, "Don't worry, I know what we had last night was just a fuck. I know I'm not your boyfriend and that you don't do the boyfriend thing. I'm here as a friend. You said you liked celebrating your birthday with friends, and I was here last night, so thought you may consider me a friend now too?"

Edward felt relieved, but not as much as he'd like.

He knew his forehead was creased as he asked trying to understand, "Did you drive home and then back here just to help me clean up?"

Jay grabbed a garbage bag and started collecting the plastic cups that were lying around.

"Nope… walked home, then walked back. I needed a shower."

"You walked?" Edward sounded confused.

"Yeah… I live across the street," Jay replied nonchalantly.

Edward quickly did the math. JASPER. That was what Jay stood for! He didn't come to his party with one of his friends! He was the neighbor Mrs. Cope had been talking about! The children's book writer who seemed to be a hermit that never left the house but to shop for food!

Edward had been curious about the man. Mrs. Cope had told him he was a "very handsome man" to quote her words. And she was right.

Edward had sent him an invitation hoping he would finally meet him—and meet him he did; intimately.

"So you're Jasper!" he tried to confirm.

"Yup! That's me," Jasper confirmed not sounding even a little bit curious about how Edward knew his name.

Edward's penny dropped. He had fucked his neighbor.

He had fucked his neighbor and now he was there to help him as if they were long time friends.

'How would that work?' he thought.

As they cleaned up, Edward's mind reeled. He didn't know where to place Jasper in his life. He was definitely there, but what was he?

How can a neighbor be just a neighbor once you have been so intimate with them?

How can a person be a friend once every time you looked at them, you wanted to pull them close and kiss their lips the way he wanted to do with Jasper now?

Even his cock was protesting at the man's presence, twitching non-stop in his pants as soon as Edward's eyes fell on Jasper, or Jay's scent hit his nostrils, or even on rare occasions Jay's voice was heard?

The whole morning was spent on making Edward's house become livable again. In between chores, the boys exchanged a few words about everything and nothing at all. They discussed a little bit of sports, a little bit of politics, cars, motorbikes; Edward told Jasper about his love for extreme sports, Jasper mentioned his hobby working at charities. But most of the morning was spent in silence while Edward was trying to make conversation and Jasper replied with half answers, sometimes with monosyllables, sometimes with just a 'hum'.

Edward noticed that Jasper didn't do it trying to keep his distance. Edward could feel he was genuinely shy and introverted. His eyes were kind and generous and he proved himself to be really helpful and considerate, only leaving when the house was perfectly organized and smelling like spring time, all the garbage thrown out and the dishes in the cupboards.

Unfortunately—or fortunately, perhaps—as the house was clean, Jasper said goodbye and went home.

Edward didn't know what to make of that.

He succeeded at behaving nonchalantly the whole morning, but now he felt like a jerk. Cleaning house was the last thing he would have wanted to do with Jasper that morning. And what scared him shitless was that he didn't even want to take Jay by the hand, lead him to his bed and fuck him. He'd be satisfied to just sit on the couch and watch movies with him, eating popcorn… with butter.

Edward shook his head thinking 'fucking feeling like a twelve year old girl now'.

Edward cooked lunch but couldn't make himself eat it. So he wrapped everything and put it all away. He tried watching TV but there was nothing on that could keep his attention, so he decided to take a nap.

He slept the afternoon away on his couch, and when he woke up it was already dark outside and his cell phone was ringing—Emmett.

He decided he wouldn't pick up the call. He wasn't in the mood for Emmett's bubbling personality at that moment.

There was nothing much for him to do with the rest of his evening, so he got a glass of Jameson and moved to his bedroom.

As he walked in and lay on his bed, he felt Jasper's scent on the sheets and pillows. At first, he retrieved one of the pillows and held it close to his heart, bringing it to his nose to just breathe it in. A few moments later he realized what he was doing and in a harsh movement, threw the pillow away and stripped the bed from its sheets and the pillows from their cases, rolling everything into a ball and throwing it in the hamper.

As he turned around to look at the bare mattress he tried to understand what he'd done, and ended up sitting down with his head between his hands, elbows on his knees. He needed to calm himself down. He didn't know what was up with him. Suddenly Jasper was all around him and he couldn't get away.

Edward ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs with the TV on and his Jameson bottle as company.

* * *

**AN/ **

NEEEEEEED to know what you think! Reviews are sooooo appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**

Hey people! I'm sorry it's so late! My friends from FB all know I lost EVERYTHING I had in my lap top last Friday! Thank GOD I had all my chaps in my email box and will be posting them regularly anyway.

Reading it all over again—as I do every time I'm about to post—I added some to it. So, if there are any mistakes, they're all mine!

Thanks again to my WONDERFUL beta reader** sue273**! Thank you so much bb!

Now…*hiding behind hands* You guys know this has been pre-written. So don't be mad at me! Those who asked for something in your reviews, sorry… you won't get it! BUT, I promise you will know what you need to and will be as proud of Jasper as I am!

I want to dedicate Red Headed Slut to a few friends of mine who are the reason I still write!

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

Thanks girls! You are salt of the Earth!

* * *

**Previous Chapter…**

As he turned around to look at the bare mattress, he tried to understand what he'd done, and ended up sitting down with his head between his hands, elbows on his knees. He needed to calm himself down. He didn't know what was up with him. Suddenly Jasper was all around him and he couldn't get away.

Edward ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs with the TV on and his Jameson bottle as company.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The next few days were the usual for him; wake up, go to work, come back, ignore Emmett's calls, jog, go to bed.

Edward didn't usually ignore Emmett's calls, but lately he wasn't up to what Emmett would surely invite him for—going out, dancing and having fun with the girls.

Edward thought he was coming down with something since he wasn't feeling himself, really.

Whenever Edward was watering his garden, or going to work, or driving back, or even leaving for his daily jogging, he would look at Jasper's house to see if he was around. He felt like going there, knocking on his door, and checking up on him. Maybe even invite him out for a beer.

But something wouldn't let him make that move.

One night, he noticed movement on his street. They lived on a dead end street and their houses were the last ones there, so the movement was unusual and he naturally went to the window to check on it.

As he pulled his blinds open, he saw a car parked in front of Jasper's house. Jasper came out of the passenger side and a man climbed out of the driver's one—Edward's body hair went right up.

As the two men walked inside, Edward became more and more curious.

'When did Jasper leave his house? Who is the guy with him? Did he know this guy before? Did he meet the guy that day? Where did they meet? Where did they come from? Is Jasper going to invite him in? He shouldn't. No one should let a stranger walk into their house on a first date.' Edward shook his head at this last thought. 'Maybe I should go there to check if everything is okay with him. That's what friends are for, right? To take care of each other?'

And at that last thought, Edward put on his jeans and a white T-shirt and jogged across the street to knock on Jasper's door.

"Hey…" was Jasper's greeting as he opened the door and saw Edward there—faded low hanging jeans, a white worn T-shirt and no shoes on. Jasper blushed a little as he smiled at Edward.

He didn't look embarrassed. He actually looked happy to see Edward.

"Hi." Suddenly Edward felt a lump in his throat and he couldn't say another word. Was it Jasper's image? Was it his scent? He didn't know. All he knew was that a mere "hi" was not enough. He wanted more. He wanted his arms around Jasper, their lips together for a kiss. But that would have been totally inadequate—they were not a couple after all.

"Come in… Long time no see. It doesn't seem like we live across from each other." Jasper kept his speech casual as Edward was struggling to find his voice.

"Yeah… I guess," he finally spoke.

"Edward, this is Liam, a friend of mine," Jasper introduced Liam as they walked inside his house.

"Friend?" Edward asked Jasper, looking at him as he shook Liam's hand, almost as if Liam weren't even there.

"Yes, I'm his friend. An old friend if I may say so." Liam was the one to answer Edward.

Edward felt silly and embarrassed. He went there to play the Prince Valiant, trying to save his lad from the big bad dragon and things were not what he'd imagined. He felt pathetic.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked seeming to notice Edward wasn't feeling well. "Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine, I… I just came here to say hello to you, I… I haven't seen you in a while and… then…" Edward was stuttering, fighting the urge to just rush out of there. Edward's eyes were everywhere but on the two men staring at him with a confused look on their faces.

"I gotta go… I think my home phone is ringing… Bye. Talk later." And with that, Edward sped to the door and left.

* * *

Feeling sorry for his pathetic behavior, Edward tried to go to Jasper's house many times since the incident, but something made his legs turn to jelly every time he tried to go there to apologize.

* * *

"Hello."

"Heyyyyyyyyyyy man! I thought you were dead!" boomed Emmett from the other end of the line.

"Hey, Em, what's up?" Edward replied chuckling.

"What's up? What's up is that you're an asshole! How many times have I called you? You didn't have the decency to return any of my calls!"

"Come on, Em. If you really cared that much about me you would have stopped by."

"Don't be so dramatic! So, have you been sick or something?"

"No. Just not feeling very cheerful…"

"Edward, you've been MIA since your party, man, and that was when? Three, four weeks ago?"

"Hey, Em. I was leaving for my jog. Can we do this later?"

"Sure. But you call me this time."

"I will. I promise."

And Edward ended the call leaving his phone on the side table and walking out the door.

Edward felt good for reconnecting with Emmett.

As he was jogging back home—a bit tired for running farther than usual that evening—he felt the floor shifting from under him and a sharp pain in his ankle. In a matter of seconds, he felt his knees and palms scraping on the floor as he tried protecting his face from hitting the pavement on the fall.

"Fuuuuuccccck!" he screamed in shock and pain, screwing his eyes shut.

As he opened his eyes, he found himself lying on his side, pulling his knees to himself, trying to relieve the pain a little. He looked around and he was alone on the street.

'Fuck!' he thought.

Edward pulled himself to a sitting position, trying to access the damage caused by the fall. His ankle was sore from the twist; his knees were pretty badly wounded, bleeding down his shins. His palms were scraped and dirty, and he felt no wish to stand up and walk all the way back home.

Edward palmed his shorts and realized. "Great… left the cell at home."

As he was trying to stand up, a car stopped a little further ahead.

Jasper.

'No way,' he thought.

Jasper jogged from the car and approached Edward with a worried face.

"Edward… Jesus! Lemme help you up," Jasper said already hooking Edward's arm around his shoulder, pulling Edward up.

"How did you fall?"

As Edward tried taking a step, he felt the sharp pain on his ankle again and limped, letting out, "Fuuuuuck it hurts! I don't know. It was all too fast. I don't know if I stepped on something and slipped or if I twisted my ankle first. I really don't know."

"Come on. Let's take care of you. I'll take you home."

Jasper buckled Edward's seatbelt after helping him into the car. Edward's heartbeat sped up with the honey-skinned man half folded around his lap. He felt like kissing Jasper's hair, holding him tight. He reined in his impulses, though.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital to have your ankle looked at?" Jasper asked starting the engine.

"No… Just… If you could drive me home, it's good enough. Thanks a lot for your help." Edward replied lowering his head to check on his knees once more, trying really hard not to show how exhilarating it was for him to be with Jasper again.

"It's okay," Jasper almost whispered. As they were heading towards their street, Jasper enquired, "Is there a first aid kit in your place? Something I could help you with getting those cleaned up?" He motioned in the direction of Edward's knees.

"Not really… No," Edward said embarrassed.

"Would it be okay if we went to my place, then?"

"You have a first aid kit?" Edward asked in a mocking tone.

"I do, actually. You should, too."

The rest of the ride was quiet. Edward tried so hard not to show how excited he was to be going to Jasper's place.

Arriving there, Jasper helped Edward inside and sat him on a kitchen bench.

"Wouldn't it be best if I took a shower first?" Edward asked, feeling filthy, sweaty and dirty from the fall.

"Sure. I'll get you a towel and some clean clothes."

Jasper helped Edward up and to the bathroom, then left Edward there for a few minutes before coming back with a towel at hand and some clean clothes.

Edward was thankful. He was aware he was getting more than he deserved. This was the second time Jasper was helping him out when he had never even had the guts to apologize for his stupid reaction the other day. He never really showed Jasper any appreciation for his friendship, hiding in his house, unable to go to Jasper and be a good neighbor, at least.

He had never been so afraid of someone in his life. Not really afraid of someone, but of his feelings for him.

Edward took the shower and moaned in pain a little as the water rolled over his wounds. He was feeling like the times when he was a kid and had fallen off his bike. The weirdest thing was that back then, scraped knees didn't hurt that much.

Wearing Jasper's board shorts, his underwear and holding the T-shirt on his hand so as not to stain it with the blood from his shoulder, Edward left the bathroom and went to look for Jasper. As he walked slowly down the hall, he saw a door slightly open and what was inside caught his eye.

It was Jasper's office.

Curious, he pushed the door open carefully and walked in. What he found in there took his breath away.

Jasper wasn't only the writer, he also drew the pictures for his books. There were many different characters of all sorts. Pages and pages aligned on the counters around his desk. The drawings were beautiful, delicate. He used soft colors and his trace was as gentle as his eyes.

"Hey, Mister!" Edward heard from behind him. "Thought you had escaped through the bathroom window."

"Nah, too small." Edward deadpanned chuckling.

"So, you found my workplace."

"I didn't know you drew, too," Edward stated looking back at Jasper.

"Well, actually it's what I started from. I used to do it for other authors but didn't agree with the stories some of them wrote, so I decided to write my own."

"They are very sensitive." Edward commented, admiring Jasper's work.

"Thanks."

"No princes and princesses though," Edward pointed out.

"No, I don't like children to think that's what the world should be about. I also don't like talking animals."

"Where's the fantasy, then?"

"Their minds are already filled with fantasy. There's no need to encourage them to remain in fantasy world. Teaching them to deal with reality is more important."

"Is that why all the characters are humans, regular people like you and me?" Edward enquired.

"Not like you and me… like them." Jasper pointed to the pictures of children on a board on the wall. There were children of all kinds, colors, races. Some were children with special needs.

"Right, they are all children." Edward said lifting one of the drawings.

"Yes, most of them," Jasper said fumbling with some papers.

"Who are they?" Curiosity took the better of Edward.

"Readers… They write me letters and send me their pictures. I keep them. It's good to know some of the people you are writing to. Come on. Enough with that. Let's get those cleaned up so they don't get infected."

Jasper helped Edward to the kitchen.

"Come here. Can you climb onto here?" Jasper asked patting the counter as he walked into the kitchen.

Edward positioned himself and pushed himself to the top of the counter with Jasper's help.

Jasper poured some antiseptic on a piece of gauze and started cleaning up Edward's right knee. Edward hissed at the pain and Jasper chuckled.

"This one looks bad. It'll take longer to heal," Jasper commented.

Edward was silent. He tried not moving his hand into Jasper's hair as he was kneeling in front of him taking care of his knees.

As Jasper stood up and moved to tend to his shoulder, Edward's heart raced and his breathing picked up at the proximity of Jasper's lips. Japer's shoulder was really close, almost brushing his nose and Jasper's scent wrapped Edward in a haze of comfort and joy he couldn't remembered ever feeling before meeting the honey-skinned man.

Lost in the moment, Edward lowered his head and leaned his forehead on Jasper's shoulder and, for a few seconds, he tasted the sweetness of being taken care of and he liked it. He liked it a lot. But it didn't last long.

As Jasper finished with his shoulder, he pulled away, head hanging low, eyes closed, and let out in a whisper, "We can't do this, Edward."

Edward was caught by surprise at Jasper's statement.

"What?" Edward enquired moving his head to try and look at Jasper's lowered face.

"Edward, I wanna be your friend. We had a great night together, but I know it'll never come to more than just that for you, and I need more," he spoke, his face still low, his voice grave.

"I'm not following… I mean…" Edward was confused.

"I know you don't date, you don't do the boyfriend thing and I need that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to change your mind about your lifestyle, but I… I need… No, I want… I want a relationship and not with someone who doesn't want it, too."

"I get it, Jay…" Edward felt intimate calling Jasper by his nickname, which sounded stupid to him since it was the first name Jasper had ever given him. "But… why do you need a relationship? I mean… Once you are not heterosexual, there are no social conventions that demand that from you. I mean… I feel free to do what I want with no need to commit to something that is not really—"

"I want to." Jasper cut Edward mid-sentence. "I am free and I choose to be in a relationship. I can understand you choose not to. I can imagine how exciting it must be for you to play the field as you do. It's just not me." Jasper finished moving away from Edward.

"I understand," Edward replied, bowing his head to look at his own hands pensively.

Edward tried looking for at least one reason why he didn't commit to a relationship and soon remembered many of them. He remembered all the hurt his mother had been through caused by his father and his thoughtlessness, his roughness and lack of love. Edward shook his head as if trying to sweep those thoughts away together with the helpless feeling they brought with them.

"Okay. So… Friends?" Jasper asked, moving back to Edward, looking up to meet his eyes.

Edward nodded, not really feeling like looking into the blonde's eyes, his own eyes watering at the memories of his mother.

"Come on, lemme see your hands."

After tending to Edward's hands, Jasper moved Edward to his couch, making him comfortable, helping him lie down, leaning on a few pillows. Edward couldn't make himself leave.

Jasper cooked dinner and made popcorn. They watched a movie together and Edward ended up sleeping on Jasper's couch.

* * *

**AN/**

*still hiding behind hands, but picking through fingers* See! Even not being able to read the story under JPOV, you could catch a glimpse of his mind, right? Jasper is so shy he wouldn't wanna speak anymore, sorry.

Now, please! Leave me some love?


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**

Well… Sorry, girls but I don't own the stories I write—the characters do. I have no responsibility whatsoever for their antics, poor decisions, and impulsive acts. So don't blame me! Blame them! LOL

Thanks again to my AMAZING beta reader **sue273**! Thank you so much bb!

I dedicated Red Headed Slut to a few friends of mine who are the reason I still write!

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

Thanks girls! Love you to death!

* * *

**Previous Chapter…**

Jasper moved Edward to his couch, making him comfortable, helping him laying down leaning on a few pillows. Edward couldn't make himself leave.

Jasper cooked dinner and made popcorn. They watched a movie together and Edward ended up sleeping on Jasper's couch.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

In the morning, Edward woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. The blinds were shut to prevent the sunrays from invading the room, but he could still see them peeking through the edges.

Soon Jasper was there, coffee mug at hand.

"Morning! Did you sleep well?" he asked, handing Edward the mug.

"I did, thanks," he replied, shifting to a sitting position, hissing at the pain in his knees caused by the movement.

"Do you have any plans for today?" Jasper asked nonchalantly.

"Nothing I'd be able to do in this shape," Edward replied after taking a sip of his coffee.

Edward liked the feeling of waking up with company. He _really_ liked that the company was actually Jasper. It felt homey. It felt comfortable. It felt… right.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?" Jasper enquired.

"Do you have plans for today?" Edward rephrased it.

"I… uhhh… Nothing set in stone, no."

Edward didn't know what to do. He knew he was imposing. Jasper had something to do that day.

"Do you need me to go home so you can get to it?" he finally spoke what his mind told him was the right thing.

"No… I… I'd love for you to stay. I'll cook lunch and you'll keep me company? Is that all right?"

Edward's heart swelled. Whatever Jasper had to do didn't seem as important as having him there. He wanted him there. He wanted his company.

Edward wasn't stupid. He knew he was starting to have feelings for Jasper. He knew the attraction he felt the very first time he saw the man was morphing into something stronger; something he was afraid of ever feeling.

He always thought that love hurt. He didn't want to suffer—not the way his mother did. Having any kind of feelings for someone besides friendship was out of the question. He couldn't risk his heart like that.

But he couldn't make himself go home just yet. His body was still sore. He needed the comfort Jasper was offering. He needed Jasper's care and tenderness. He wanted his smell surrounding him, his heat warming him.

Edward decided to be selfish this time. This one time he wouldn't do the right thing.

"Okay… I'd be glad to stay." He accepted Jasper's offer with a smile on his face. Deep inside, he knew he'd be glad to stay forever, but he had always been scared of making a decision like that.

Edward spent the morning sitting on a lawn chair in Jasper's backyard watching him mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool, and when it was almost eleven, Jasper excused himself and went inside.

Edward could listen to only one side of the conversation Jasper was having on the phone, and even that was kind of difficult to understand, once he was a bit far from him, but curiosity took the better of him and he stood up following Jasper's voice to try and listen to it better.

"Yeah… I'm sorry. I won't be able to make it… A friend of mine had an accident… no, no I'm not at the hospital, no… I… well, I'm home now. No… he's here with me, I took care of … what? No! Don't be ridiculous, Jake. He lives across the street, I just… No, I won't ask him to go home, his got both his knees wounded and no one should stay home alone while having trouble moving… Yes, he's having lunch with me… No, I don't need any help, I'm fine. Jake… Jake, listen to me. Why are you pushing this? Why can't you wait till tomorrow? Hey… look… I'm gonna hang up now 'cause I don't wanna be mad at you, okay? Talk to you later."

And Jasper hung up the phone.

Edward's gut twisted thinking that Jasper was involved with someone named Jake. They seemed to have a date and Jasper had canceled to stay with Edward. A strange feeling took over and Edward needed Jasper near him all of a sudden. He wanted him close—he wanted him for himself.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Edward walked inside and towards Jasper. Jasper came to meet him and Edward held Jasper close to his heart, burying his face on the man's neck, his knuckles white from the strength he was grasping his shirt. Not really understanding what was happening to him, Edward's eyes watered and he couldn't make himself let go of Jasper, who held him back with the same strength.

Those moments were filled with unspoken words, a silent conversation only the two of them could make sense of. Their mingled breath and scent enveloped them both and, for a few seconds, it felt like nothing could separate them.

Edward didn't know where those feelings he was having for Jasper came from. He didn't know when they started, how or why. All he could tell at that exact moment was that all the sadness and lack of will to get up in the morning and live his life were gone while he was in Jasper's arms.

He wanted to kiss Jasper's lips, to stroke his skin, to love him right there.

But then what?

As he felt Jasper's lips softly touching his neck, the doorbell rang and the spell was broken. They were brought back to reality with a thump.

Jasper pulled away slowly, searching for Edward's eyes with a soft look in his own that Edward thought were so calming and reassuring it made him feel safe. They were still good. Nothing had changed, at least not for the worse.

As Jasper opened the door, a tall, bulky, dark-skinned man stood outside, his eyes blazing. He looked native-American and pissed as hell.

Jasper's face screwed and his head fell between his shoulders.

"Hey, baby," the man said giving him a peck on the cheek. "How are you doing?"

"I'm… I'm fine, Jake," Jasper answered sighing and pursing his lips, clearly annoyed with the situation.

"Are you inviting me in?" Jake faked a calm Edward could notice he didn't really feel.

"Sure… why not?"

As Jake walked in, his stare at Edward made Edward feel defied. He decided he didn't like the guy. He was also really pissed at him for interrupting his moment with Jasper.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friend? Wow! Those knees really look nasty."

Jacob's cynicism was getting on Edward's nerves.

"Jacob, this is my friend Edward… Edward, this is Jacob."

Edward enjoyed the fact that he was introduced as a friend and Jacob was introduced as… Jacob. Neither expressed their pleasure in meeting the other, no words of good will or friendliness, only a dry nod with the head was exchanged.

"So, I was in the neighborhood and thought I could drop by and invite you two out to lunch! Since the… accident prevented us from having our afternoon date, I thought we could at least save our lunch?" Jacob finished his question with an eyebrow up, eyes trained to Jasper's, who really looked like he'd rather be in Hell than in that living room at that point.

"I don't think Edward would be comfortable—"

"It's okay, Jay. I need to go home at some point. Now is as much a good time as ever... so you guys can have your afternoon together." Edward cut Jasper.

Jacob grinned and Edward felt like decking him right then.

Jasper looked like he was going to the gallows. His shoulders were slumped and his head down; the sparkle in his eyes faded and he only mumbled, "I'm gonna take a shower. Edward, can you stay with Jacob and keep him company till I get back?"

"Sure," Edward answered trying to understand why he should stay but not fighting the situation.

As soon as Jasper disappeared into the bathroom, Jacob shot his first questions that seemed really more like an accusation than an enquiry. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Did you really think he'd fall for that? For the neighbor in distress with scrapped knees needing help?"

"What are you talking about? You think I planned this?" Edward asked outraged.

"Oh, come on, Edward. I know you are a slut! I know you're just trying to get laid again! What happened? Did you not fuck half the city? Why not going for the other half and leaving Jasper alone?" Jacob whisper-yelled.

"I'm not here to fuck anyone! You're out of your fucking mind! And who do you think you are to use that tone with me?" Edward bit his lips trying to keep his voice down.

"Me? Who the hell are you? You think that just because you were his first you can have him every time you feel like it?"

Edward's jaw fell open, his eyes almost jumped out of their sockets. He had no idea. Jacob's voice faded away and all Edward could think was how tight Jasper was around his cock, how long it took for him to relax and start enjoying their fuck and how startled he was when he came.

Edward started analyzing every second of his memories of their first time together and finally he realized how inexperienced Jasper really appeared to be that night, never making the first move, always taking whatever Edward was willing to give him. His moans, his eyes screwed shut, his knuckles white grasping the comforter.

Fuck.

He really was Jasper's first.

Little by little, Jacob's voice started being noticed again and he was calmer, almost contemplative.

"He's a good man. He deserves better than you. He deserves someone who will love and cherish him for the kind soul he is," Jacob finished.

"Do you?" Edward asked. Noticing Jacob looked confused, Edward rephrased his question, "Do you love him?"

Jacob sighed looking down letting out an almost whispered answer "I want to. But not yet. We'll get there."

Edward started shaking his head as he stood up to leave, since he could hear the shower had stopped for a while now.

"That's not good enough. You gotta do better than that," he warned Jacob.

"Why? Otherwise the red-headed slut will screw me over?" Jacob's ironic answer made Edward's stomach spin. Edward pushed himself against Jacob until Jake's back hit the wall.

"Stop calling me a slut! You know nothing about me, you know nothing about me and Jasper, so you WILL shut the fuck up!"

"I know a lot more than you think… Liam told me all about you. He warned me you would probably be in my way since Jasper had a huge crush on you. But that's over! Your spell was broken! Stop trying to get him back! I can give him what he wants! You can't, so get the fuck out of the way—"

"What's going on here?" Jasper walked in on them arguing and as soon as his voice reached Edward's ears he pulled back and walked to the door.

Jasper walked behind him shaking his head, disapprovingly.

As Edward walked outside, Jasper did the same, closing the door behind him.

"Edward, wait," he pleaded.

Edward stopped, turned and walked back to Jasper.

"I don't like him, Jasper. I know we are not that close and that I have no right to judge anyone or have a say in your life, but I don't like him."

Strangely, Jasper—who was on the top step of the porch—pulled Edward closer to him, holding him against his chest. Edward circled his arms around Jasper's waist and the emotion that took over his entire being overwhelmed him. He couldn't understand why Jasper had done it, but he didn't care. All he could really feel was that he didn't want to let go.

"I'm sorry, Edward. He was not supposed to come here. I didn't wanna leave you alone. I'm so, so sorry."

"No." Edward suddenly felt like the runner-up in a competition. He was not used to being second place—hated that feeling.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, really." He was harsh in his first words, but looking up at Jasper's eyes, his rage lost strength and his last words were soft and forgiving. "You've done a lot already. I took advantage of your good will." He finished with a chuckle.

Letting go of Jasper's body, Edward stepped outside of his embrace, turned around and walked away.

"I'll check up on you later, okay?" He heard Jasper saying.

Edward just rose a 'thumbs up' and walked home.

* * *

**AN **

As I said... Not responsible! Not me! No, Sir! No, Ma'am! It's aaaaaaaaaallllllll Jacob's fault... I gotta admit I was pretty upset myself... Gotta say it though, it gets better! LOL

Thanks sooooooooooooo much for the reviews and I WILL REPLY them all... I just had so much stuff to correct these past two weeks... Only who teaches know how corrections sort of procreate! It's like... you put an English notebook on top of a Social Studies one and a literature notebook is born! It's crazy! I know!

I can't be held responsible for what you guys just read, but I will hear your complaints this time. Think of me as your therapist and let it all out! *giggles*

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

XOXO


	5. Chapter 6

**AN/**

**It's already Wednesday in Australia! LOL**

Hrrrrm Hhhurrrrm *clears throat*. I hope a week was enough to dissipate any anger towards my very being, caused by the sudden appearance of our "beloved" friend Jake! LOL He showed up! Jasper was available before… There was nothing I could have done! LOL I swear!

I wanna thank my wonderful BETA **sue273 **once more! (she must be tired of me thanking her by now... I don't care, though!)

This story is dedicated to my AWESOME friends

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

You are the light of my Day!

* * *

**Previous Chapter…**

Letting go of Jasper's body, Edward stepped outside of his embrace, turned around and walked away.

"I'll check up on you later, okay?" He heard Jasper saying.

Edward just rose a 'thumbs up' and walked home.

Edward was home, and for the first time in a really long time, he felt sorry for himself. He hated himself for leaving Jasper with Jacob. He hated Jacob for interrupting his moment with Jasper. He wished he'd had time to see what would happen next. Now he thought that maybe he should have stayed. But he left because he just didn't know what else he could have done.

* * *

Calling Emmett was the only thing he could think of to try and stop thinking about what had just happened.

"Hey, Em,"

"Hey, Eds! Thank GOD you called, man! I thought I needed to call the police this time! I've been trying to talk to you since last night and you wouldn't pick up your cell, man! What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry, Em… I had a small accident and Jasper helped me out, and I stayed at his place last night—"

"Wowowowow! Hold on a second! What? You spent the night at Jasper's? Your smokin' hot neighbor? The one who ruined you for anyone else ever since you fucked him at your party?" Emmett was on full surprise mode his voice loud and cheerful as always.

"Em… Stop it, all right? It was nothing like that… I fell on the pavement while jogging, I'm all fucked up: scrapped knees, palms… I hurt my shoulder, and my ankle is sore."

"Jesus man! Why didn't you call me?"

"I would have, had I taken my phone with me. Jasper saw me on the ground, so he came to help."

"Okay… and then?" Edward could hear the smile on Emmett's voice.

"And then nothing. We had a nice friendly evening, I slept on his couch, and today… well today was a blast!" Sarcasm dripped from Edward's voice.

"What happened today?" Emmett sounded confused.

"His BOYFRIEND showed up."

"What? Boyfriend? Who is the guy?"

"Well… maybe you know him? Jacob? He looks native-American, bulky guy."

"I think I know the guy. If he's who I think he is, he works out at my gym. He's gay? Jeez I'd never tell. "

"The guy's a piece of shit! Came yelling at me, calling me names, saying I'm no good for Jasper… it pissed me off, really. Who the hell does he think he is to judge me and yell at me like that? Not good for Jasper… huh."

"And… are you?"Emmett's voice was tentative, careful.

"Am I what? Good for Jasper?"

"Yeah…"

Edward didn't know how to answer that question. After a few moments of silence, Emmett spoke, "I'm coming over. Seems you need a friend to talk to."

"Thanks, Em… I do." Edward admitted.

* * *

As Emmett arrived, Edward felt a little relieved.

He needed to share his thoughts with someone. It seemed like everything he believed had turned to dust. He'd been so positive about living a life with no attachments, making promises to no one, committing to nothing.

But now, all his body craved was Jasper, and it scared him. There was something about that man that made him feel soulless when he wasn't around.

As Emmett sat comfortably on the armchair opposite his friend, Edward started telling him everything that had been going on since the party: his feelings, insecurities, fears and thoughts.

It was hard being objective and making sense being so upset, but he knew Emmett followed him, or else he would have stopped him.

"The last time I can remember being me was when I was inside him, Em," Edward had his eyes cast down, his voice trembling.

"Jesus man! Could you spare me the graphics and visualizations, please?" Emmett protested.

"Fuck off… I'm serious." And he was—he was dead serious.

Suddenly he remembered Jasper was now with Jacob, and the thought of Jacob now enjoying Jasper's company made him feel as if something was eating his insides.

"Edward. I don't get it. After all you told me, it's clear to me the guy is into you. What's all the drama for? Tell him you like him and get this over with!"

"He wants a relationship, Em." Edward's voice was grave.

"Oh! I get it. You are Mr. No-strings-attached man, right? Dreading commitment…"

"Emmett, it's… complicated." Edward sighed.

"No, it's not. All you have to do is cut the bullshit." Emmett retorted.

"Em, what's best about being bisexual is that no one expects anything from me. My parents never expected a daughter-in-law, grand-children; I can do whatever I want with whomever I want and enjoy myself, and make people have a good time with me. In the end of the night my house is mine, my life is mine, I owe nothing to anyone."

"Does that make you happy? Do you feel fulfilled with a life like that?"

Edward was pensive, but didn't really answer. Emmett stood up, annoyed at his friend's stubbornness.

"Edward, your sense of freedom is a scheme. You think you are free? You give people pleasure, everyone comes to you when they are alone, in need of a shoulder to cry on, a fuck… they take from you and give you what in return? Huh?" Emmett's eyebrows shot up, and he waited for a response, but Edward said nothing. So he went on, "Most of your fuck-bodies are in relationships right now. Do they call you to ask how you are doing, to invite you to go have a beer? Do they come to tell you how great you were when they needed you?" Emmett waited for an answer, again that never came.

Sitting down next to Edward, he tried to sound as careful as the subject required.

"When you don't start a relationship so you can be free to have sex with your friends with benefits, you are committing to them. You are losing a chance to commit to someone who really cares about you… They don't, you know. They have no commitment to you. You are the sucker who ends up alone, no family, no one to care for you, no love… While they got their lives back together and don't even remember you exist. You truly need to wake up, Edward. Wake up before this Jacob takes Jasper from you and you'll lose your chance of trying something new, something different, something a lot more solid and fulfilling than your false sense of freedom."

"It's not just that… What if…" Edward grimaced shaking his head, as if trying to dismiss his thoughts, "What if I'm not good to him, what if he really deserves better, you know?"

"Where is this coming from? Does it have anything to do with your parents? The thing with your dad?"

"I had no good examples of how to be in a healthy relationship Em. I-"

"You're afraid of ending up like your dad?"

"Em, my dad was a good guy who was too blind to see what my mother needed from him. When he finally realized he did everything wrong, she was dying with cancer, and he couldn't do a thing about it. I'd never be that blind. I…" Edward looked outside the window sighing before he went on, "I'm afraid to hurt like she did. I'm afraid of … loving someone that much and ending up resenting him."

"Really? Do you really feel you are at risk of something like that happening with a guy like Jasper? Tell me you're joking! The guy picked you up from the ground, took care of you, even though you didn't really need that much care. As you told me yourself, he's sweet, and tender… I don't know what else you're waiting for."

"He's with Jacob." Edward finished.

"Hey, I rest my case. I'm not gonna try and convince you. You do what you feel is right, man. I give up."

Edward and Emmett spent the rest of the evening drinking beer and watching games on T.V. Edward couldn't keep his eyes away from Jasper's front door, though. Every now and then his eyes darted through the windows, towards the red door across the street.

When the car pulled over in front of Jasper's house, Edward shot to the window to pick through the drapes.

He was relieved to see that Jacob wasn't invited in.

Jasper walked inside by himself, but just the sight of Jasper made him feel a squeeze in his heart, a strange need to just float to him, but he resisted—Emmett was there and he saw he couldn't help but notice Edward's agitation.

"Hey man, go talk to him. You want me to leave, I'll just go."

"No. I have nothing to offer him. He deserves better than me," Edward replied walking back to the couch and letting his body fall to it.

"You're a lost case, you know. Jesus!"

* * *

Soon, the doorbell rang and Edward jumped to his feet, remembering Jasper had told him he'd drop by to check on him.

Swinging the door open, Edward felt a warmth enveloping him just at the sight of Jasper's kind eyes looking at him.

"Hey," Jasper said with a faint voice, a sweet smile on his face. Edward's whole body shivered in need for contact.

"Hi. You really came." Edward heard Emmett's chuckle behind him and thought, 'fucker!'

"So, are you okay? Do you need anything?" Jasper's worried questions made Edward feel like melting inside.

"I'm fine." The tension between them could be cut with a knife, as they gazed deep into each other's eyes.

"But… can I just…" Edward stepped forward and pulled Jasper into his arms, the feeling of being whole again soothing his anguish.

Jasper held him back, his hands caressing Edward's skin. At the feeling of Jasper's touch, Edward's hand slid up and into Jasper's hair, pulling it to the side so his lips could reach Jasper's ear, he whispered, "Sleep with me tonight."

At his request, Edward could feel Jasper tense up in his arms, so he quickly explained himself better, "Just sleep with me. We don't have to do anything, just hold each other for the night. Please… Sleep with me. I wanna wake up next to you—"

"Let's not do that to ourselves, Edward, please. We want different things. This will be torture for both of us." Letting go of Edward, Jasper held Edward's face between his hands and, looking into Edward's eyes, he went on "We agreed to be friends, remember?"

Edward didn't want to be just his friend. He felt an energy running through his veins, demanding a reaction from him, but his mind was stronger and he kept his mouth shut.

Jasper's hands slid down his arms, stopping to hold his hands as he said "I promised I'd come over to check on you, and I did. Have you had dinner?"

Edward nodded. For a strange reason he couldn't make himself speak; maybe because he was lying.

"Okay, then. If you need anything, I'll be home. Just give me a call and I'll be right over, okay?"

Edward nodded again feeling weak, tired and defeated.

Jasper closed the distance between them and kissed Edward's cheek, turning around and walking back home.

Jasper never noticed Emmett's presence, being blinded by the door, but as soon as it was shut, Edward heard the huge man say, "I never thought you were so stupid, Edward."

"If you are so much smarter than me, how come you are unattached? How come you are alone? I've never seen YOU with anyone for longer than a month or two!" Edward protested.

"I haven't found anyone who made me feel the way you're feeling, you moron! 'Cause if I did, I'd do everything in my power to just grab her and never let go! You let this ghost run your life as if it were the absolute truth! Just 'cause your parents' relationship was crappy, it doesn't mean yours will always be too! You've witnessed their lives; you saw their mistakes. You've learned from them. Now it's time you have your own experiences and stop hiding from them behind this stupid sexual freedom talk!"

Edward felt like yelling at Emmett, but held it back. He didn't really have the energy. All he wanted to do was to roll into a ball and sleep. He fought it though.

"Aren't you going out tonight?" Edward asked not really interested in the answer.

"I'm out. I'm with my friend. I'm not going anywhere else tonight."

Edward liked Emmett's answer. He was really a true friend. That thought made him consider Emmett's ideas. What if he was right? What if he was being an idiot denying himself the opportunity of belonging to someone, of belonging to Jasper. He couldn't picture Jasper hurting him in any way. He couldn't see himself taking anyone in his life for granted.

Suddenly, a feeling of dread took over his heart at the thought of being responsible for someone else's unhappiness, for someone else's misery.

He remembered his father's desperation at the recognition of his faults, faults that led his mom into depression, then cancer. Soon after that, guilt led him to alcoholism, something he fought till this day.

Edward shook his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts, fixing his eyes to the TV screen, falling swiftly asleep.

* * *

**AN/** Okay… the couch is free. Tell me what your worries are. LOL Edward is such a stubborn F****R… I know. Poor thing. I think he's the one needing a couch and an ear… Emmett helped, but it wasn't enough! Leave me some love? I promise I'll be good! ;)


	6. The one before the epilogue

**AN/**

**Is it still Wednesday anywhere in the World? LOL 'Course not! But a silly girl can wish! LOL **

Well… Real life got in the way. Had meetings at school and had to babysit my grandkid so my son and his girl could go to a soccer game… between two teams they don't even root for! *shakes head in frustration* That's why I'm posting today.

For those who love these two as much as I do, I got not-so-good news. This is the last chapter before the epilogue! *jumps behind the couch to hide from angry women!*

Good news is now you'll see if Edward will finally give in, or if he'll screw up big time and lose the love of his life! *shrinks-so-can-fit, hides under the couch since angry women climbed over it and found her!*

I wanna thank my incredible BETA **sue273**! *blushes* I've played with this chap after being betaed. All mistakes are mine only! It's good to have stuff that are only ours, isn't it? Even if they are mistakes? LOL

This story is dedicated to my AWESOME friends

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

You make my life so special, girls!

* * *

Previous Chapter…

He remembered his father's desperation at the recognition of his faults, faults that led his mom into depression, then cancer. Soon after that, guilt led him to alcoholism, something he fought till this day.

Edward shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts, fixing his eyes to the TV screen, falling swiftly asleep.

* * *

**The Last One... before the epilogue.**

Emmett had just left Edward's house after spending the night there.

Edward felt empty.

His movements were mechanical. He had coffee, took a shower, and didn't even feel his knees hurting anymore. A part of him seemed to be missing.

Edward skipped lunch, prostrated in front of the TV the whole afternoon.

In the evening, the headlights of a car approaching their end of the street brought him out of his numbness. He could see them through the windows and drapes.

Edward stood quickly and rushed to see who it was. He froze—Jasper was in Jacob's car and they were kissing.

Edward felt sick and sped to the toilet; dry heaves made his whole body convulse, only a yellowish substance coming from his stomach, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Edward leaned on the toilet seat and felt like crying. His whole body ached at the thought of losing Jasper and suddenly it all became clear as the day—there was nothing Jasper could ever do that would hurt more than this.

Edward brushed his teeth, grabbed his jacked and ran outside. Jacob's car was empty—'They must have gone inside', he realized.

Panic took over his heart and he feared Jacob had finally gotten his way with Edward's first and only Love. And there was no one else to be blamed but Edward.

As he was walking up the walkway, he saw the door opening. Jacob left the house and, closing the door, walked down the path towards Edward. A brief feeling of relief washed over Edward.

"I hope you're happy, you bastard!" Jacob barked.

"Happy for what?" Edward snapped back, already regretting having said anything.

"I don't really know what you've done that made him so hooked on you, I really don't." Jacob was agitated, his voice cracking; he seemed to barely control his movements. Noticing that, Edward kept calm, trying to make things remain peaceful. He didn't want to pick a fight. All he wished was to talk to Jasper.

"Everything I wanted was to make him happy, you know. He's amazing. He's caring, and tender…He deserves that, you know… to be happy!" Edward stood still, listening. He noticed a blush covered Jacob's cheeks as he chuckled nervously and confessed, "I gotta admit my intentions were not honest at first. Jasper is a great looking guy, almost a virgin for crying out loud! All I wanted was to have a taste of his ass…" Edward felt his blood rush in his veins, his heart pounding hard, his hands balling into fists, ready to punch the dark skinned idiot in front of him at the thought of Jacob being intimate with his Jasper, especially for such despising reasons.

'His Jasper'—that thought made him cool off a little, being aware Jacob never got what he wanted also helped.

'Was Jasper really his? Was he ready to be Jasper's too?' he wondered.

His musings were interrupted as Jacob went on, "But after I got to know him , I thought that maybe he was the one for me. He was it. But he didn't even give me a chance because he's so fucking honest! And YOU! You are a FUCKING MORON! You don't deserve him! FUCKING COWARD!"

Revolted, Jacob turned and walked back towards the house a few steps, turning right back again and walking towards Edward.

"Why don't you just… Just tell him you don't want him like that. Just tell him not to wait for you anymore 'cause it's just pointless…"Jacob's voice was pleading. "Just… Just set him free." Jacob's hand flew to his hair and his eyes watered. Edward felt bad for him, but he knew what he was doing; he wasn't going to do what Jacob asked him to, he wasn't going to answer Jacob's questions because he was not the one who deserved any answers.

Edward said nothing.

At Edward's lack of response, Jacob quit, walking to his car and driving away.

Edward waited until Jacob's car disappeared around the corner to turn and walk up to Jasper's door.

As Jasper opened the door, Edward held his breath at the sight in front of him. He hadn't really thought of what to say; he didn't know how to start.

His heart was back to pounding like a Blue Man Group concert; his palms started sweating and he pondered whether he was having a panic attack.

Jasper stood there waiting for Edward's next move. Edward couldn't think of anything but holding Jasper close to his heart. So that was what he did.

Jasper let himself be hugged.

Edward's heart calmed down at the contact with Jasper's warm body, feeling the soothing beats of Jasper's heart. He knew then that he was right, that _they_ were right.

His arms held Jasper close for what seemed to be a long time. He just felt the blonde's body against his, trying to keep their contact to a maximum, caressing his hair, breathing him in.

He held Jasper close until he felt Jasper's body shake once—a sob.

Edward tried pulling away from Jasper, but Jasper held on to him tighter, not allowing Edward to see his face.

"Edward, please don't do this to me. Not unless you mean something with it. I can't move on if every now and then I end up in your arms like this… please," Jasper pleaded, tears damping Edward's shirt, making him hurt inside at the thought of Jasper's pain.

"I don't want you to move on," Edward spoke, brushing his lips on Jasper's skin, "I want you for myself, and I won't ever let go. I've been such a fool. No one has ever made me feel the way you do and I won't fight it anymore. I can't… I don't want to."

Edward felt Jasper's body turn to jelly in his arms. Unable to hold Jasper up, Edward carefully lowered them both to their knees.

"We need to talk, Jay. We need to talk this through. I need you to know why this is so difficult for me. I… I need you to know so you can help me and... and I need you to be patient. I'm gonna make lots of mistakes and I need you to help me…"

"Help you with what?"

Jasper's voice was muffled, his head still buried in Edward's neck, but Edward understood him perfectly.

"Help me be worthy of you, help me be the man you deserve—"

"Would you stop it already?" Jasper's voice was stronger, his grip loosened a bit and now he was leaning his forehead on Edward's shoulder so his words could be better understood. "Do you want me to fall harder for you than I already have? If that's even possible..."

Edward's heart skipped a beat and he just let himself go, pulling Jasper's head back by his hair and attacking his lips with a fury he never knew he had.

The kiss was passionate, bruising; lips, and tongue and teeth and skin—he took everything Jasper had to offer. He felt himself harden against Jasper's erection; he remembered how hot and tight he felt inside Jasper and, as he slid his hand down Jasper's pants and found his puckered hole between Jasper's taut cheeks, Jasper moaned into the kiss making Edward remember what he'd gone there to do.

He didn't make any quick movements to stop their reconnection; he just didn't want things to be only physical. He knew that everything was wonderful in that area. They needed to work things out by talking and that was what they had to do at that point.

Edward slowed down the kissing, still caressing Jasper's ass cheeks, his crease but not invading his body with his fingers. Jasper moved his hips against his hand, letting Edward know how much he enjoyed his touch.

"Jasper…" Edward whispered against his lips.

"I know… I know… talk," Jasper acknowledged.

As they ended the kiss—both panting—they looked at each other; both sporting stupid grins on their faces.

"Couch?" Jasper asked.

Edward only nodded, standing up and pulling Jasper by the hand.

Instead of sitting on the couch, Edward lay on it, bringing Jasper with him. They were face to face when Jasper commented, "If I knew we would be lying down, I'd have suggested the bed."

"Nah… I wanted you as close to me as possible. This is perfect—narrow enough."

Edward told Jasper all he'd been through with his parents since his childhood. He told him the reasons he had trouble believing relationships could work, and how life was easier to him as an unattached, single, bisexual guy.

Edward also told him how much he admired Jasper, not only for the person and professional he was, but also for sticking to his beliefs by not giving in.

"Edward, I need to tell you something, too." Jasper sounded grave, worried. "I… I need you to know what happened between me and Jake."

"You don't have to tell me anything—"

"I do." Jasper interrupted Edward. "I want to."

Edward moved so he could look at Jasper better. Jasper couldn't look at his face though, his cheeks tinged of red.

"Remember Liam?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, he introduced me to Jacob. Liam was the one person I could talk about everything, you know. He was the first gay friend I had. When I moved here… well, when I moved here I sort of had a crush on you and… Don't laugh!" he protested at Edward's chuckles.

"Sorry, I promise I'll try," Edward said trying to stop.

"So… I noticed the movement of people in your place most nights, as well as how hot you were. I didn't know if you were into guys, till the day I saw you with one."

Edward was feeling uncomfortable now. Jasper knew a lot more than he thought. Maybe he said something to Jacob and that's where the name calling came from.

"Jasper, I need to explain that," Edward urged to speak.

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. I don't want you to have the wrong impression about me. None of those people were casual, random hookups."

"They weren't?" Jasper looked confused.

"No. We have sort of a… a circle of friends with benefits."

Jasper creased his forehead as his brows furrowed.

"Well… whenever we were single, we would go to each other for sex. I know it may sound odd and even wrong to you, but it was how we kept safe, never really falling into traps and always waiting for the right person to commit to."

"Only you never committed to anyone," Jasper pointed out.

"Exactly. It was perfect for me, till I fell for you and nothing else made sense anymore."

Jasper closed the distance between them and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Thanks for telling me."

Edward only smiled back at him thinking of how a soft little kiss from Jasper was worth a lot more than any orgasm he ever had with somebody else.

"Now, after that night with you my crush became a lot more than that, but I had noticed you were not the kind of guy who is used to commitment, and I knew pining for you wouldn't take me anywhere so—" Jasper pursed his lips before continuing.

"So, Liam introduced you to Jacob." Edward finished for Jasper.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. Jacob is a nice person and I felt like a phony for leading him on when I knew I was in love with someone else. I couldn't even let him touch me." Jasper stopped again, clearly embarrassed, cautious with what he was about to say. "Jacob kissed me today and it felt… awful." Jasper shook his head looking down. "I could still feel you inside me whenever I closed my eyes and I realized that I needed to stop wanting you like that before starting anything with anyone else." Jasper sighed. "Edward, you were my first…" Edward pulled him close and kissed his forehead, not mentioning that he already knew that. "You were my only one…"

Jasper looked up and their lips met. The kiss was slow and sensual; their bodies moving, looking for friction. But Edward needed to know—he had to ask and that was the time to do it. Edward held Jasper's face between his hands. "Why didn't you tell me?" his voice husky and low.

"You wouldn't have wanted me if I had." Edward thought that Jasper was probably right but didn't say it.

Being someone's first meant a lot, didn't it? Edward doubted he would have made love to Jasper if he knew.

'Made love to Jasper'.

He hardly knew the man, but that was what he did—now he knew. That was why it felt so different, so much more special and meaningful. 'Was love at first sight real?' He had always thought that was bullshit people used to sell books and fool people. But there was definitely a strong connection between them, something magnetic, almost unavoidable, a force he felt powerless to fight against.

His questions weren't over yet, though.

"Why did you want me to be your first?" he asked, his thumb caressing Jasper's cheek.

"Because I had always been afraid of it, and I thought it would hurt, or I wouldn't feel good. When I thought of certain guys I'd get… you know… hard," Jasper spoke with a shy smile ending in a chuckle, "but as I thought of being intimate, of being penetrated … I'd go soft. Liam told me to buy a sex toy and practice so the fear would go away, but I never did. When I looked at you, though… you were the only one I ever thought of doing it with and I would grow even more excited at the thought."

"Did I hurt you? Was it difficult for you?" Concern poured out Edward's every word.

"I won't lie to you. It was painful in the beginning, yeah. But you didn't hurt me and then… well, then it was wonderful. I'd never felt anything like it. And I… I wanted that again… but only with you."

Edward found Jasper's lips again and couldn't resist them, touching them with his tongue, than brushing his own lips on them slowly, till he felt Jasper's breath against his skin as he asked, "Won't you miss it?"

"Miss what?" Edward moved away to gaze at Jasper's face.

"Being with other people… being with women."

"Jasper…" Edward fought the lump in his throat so he could speak, " I can tell you that, in a way, you were my first one, too. I mean, what I shared with you, I had never shared with anyone else. What I feel inside every time I lay my eyes on you, since the very first time at the party, is something I can't even name… and then…" Edward took a deep breath, upset it was being so difficult to tell Jasper exactly what he felt, "Then, nothing else is good enough, no one else is good enough. I'm in love with you… nothing else will ever matter unless you are in my world, unless I can make you happy—"

"That's not what I'm talking about Edward." Jasper huffed, closed his eyes, breathed in and out and found the courage to ask the question he seemed to dread the possible answers for, "I'm talking about… physically."

Jasper closed his eyes again, showing how afraid of the answer he was.

Edward pulled Jasper's face to his, close enough so he could stare right in his eyes, "Jasper, that night was… nothing compares to that night. No sex I ever had got even close to what we had. No one I was ever around made me feel as overwhelmed with happiness as you make me. You bewitched me, body and soul. There is no one I'd wish to be with, or even to be that intimate with, since that night but you. I've been trying to fight it, afraid I wouldn't be good enough for you, afraid we would end up hurting each other."

Edward looked down, took in a big puff of air and looked up sounding positive about his statement, "No. As long as I have you I won't miss anything I ever had. Before I even knew you wanted to be with me like this, I didn't miss any of that already."

Jasper closed his eyes for a while.

"Look at me, Jasper," Edward demanded. "Look, in my heart, this is the best moment of my life, and you know why? 'Cause I never thought I'd ever have someone to love. I never thought it would ever happen to me to be loved back. I never thought that just having you in my arms like this would make me feel so… whole. I thought these feelings were only possible in fairy tales."

Jasper finally opened his eyes and looked at him. Raising his face so his lips could reach Edward's ear, he asked, "Make love to me, Edward."

"Oh, Fuck…"

Edward's lips found Jasper's and the thought of being inside the blond in his arms shot a jolt of electricity through his body.

Entangling their legs, so they could get as close as humanly possible, Edward felt Jasper's hand unbuttoning his pants, invading his boxers and circling his pulsating cock. His breath hitched and all he wanted to do was crawl under Jasper's skin and become one with him again.

Jasper's hand was tentative, feeling his cock, caressing it, moving slowly, just as much as Edward's boxers and pants allowed.

"I wanna see your cock… Lemme see your cock," Jasper panted, tugging on Edward's pants, trying to slide them down. With a little of Edward's help, Jasper got his cock and balls out, rolling them between his fingers.

"Beautiful… so beautiful," Jasper mumbled softly, as he played with Edward's penis.

Edward fumbled with the button and zipper of Jasper's pants, freeing Jasper's dick from his boxers.

Since the night they had spent together, Edward couldn't think of anything sexier than Jasper's uncut cock whenever he touched himself.

Now he could do exactly what he fantasized about so many times before.

"I wanna try something, Jay," Edward said, aligning his cock to Jasper's, stroking the pinkish skin of Jasper's cock back and forth a few times, hiding Jay's cock head underneath it, only to pull it back again, revealing the purplish pink crown that made his mouth water.

Pulling the silky skin further, he covered his own head, joining his cock to Jasper's, Jay's foreskin enveloping both their heads in Edward's firm fist.

"Damn it… fuck… this feels awesome… keep doing it, please… feels amazing." Jasper's voice was weak, he sounded completely lost in the sensations while Edward's cock was docked with his.

Edward gasped at the feeling of having his cock sheathed in Jasper's foreskin.

After a while stroking them together, Edward had to pull his cock away, he was so close to coming. Feeling the loss of connection, he pulled Jasper's body closer, their chests clashing, their lips bruising.

The feeling of contentment that took over his heart made him see the future he hoped to have together with the man whose lips he was kissing, whose body he was embracing, whose smell he loved and craved.

He wanted a life by Jasper's side. He wanted to wake up next to him every morning; he wanted to come back from work to Jasper writing at his study; he wanted to embrace the man from behind and smell his scent while attaching his chest to his love's back; he wanted to cook him dinner and wash his body under the shower after making love to him.

He wanted a house, and kids, and dogs in the yard.

Spooked by his sudden wishes, Edward came back to the moment feeling Jasper's hard cock rubbing against his between their stomachs.

He wanted more.

Edward slid his hands inside Jasper's pants, from his lower back down, his middle finger sneaking in between Jasper's firm glutes, making the blonde man shiver, his hand faltering on Edward's cock.

"Damn it, Edward," Jay murmured.

"What Jay?" was the mechanical answer Edward could muster at the feeling of Jasper's smooth skin under his fingers, his puckered flesh in contact with the pad of his middle one. Edward was flying in the haze of that moment.

"I love your smell…" he went on, "freaking love your smell." Edward ran his nose up Jasper's neck, taking in his scent, committing it to memory, his thoughts messy—he had never fallen in love, not like this; he never thought it would happen with a man; he never thought he would enjoy the musky, spicy smell of a man so much.

As his nose went up, his tongue ran on Jasper's skin, finding a soft spot right under his ear, behind Jasper's jaw. That place was special; it concentrated Jasper's scent and taste, and the skin was so smooth and sensitive. That was his favorite spot.

Pulling Jasper's earlobe between his lips, Edward sucked on it making the blonde man tremble.

With his free hand, Edward caressed Jasper's back, pulling him to him, kneading Jasper's flesh with an urgency he only remembered having at the first time he was with his demigod in his arms.

Edward's heart was thumping so fast; he couldn't believe he had Jasper for himself. The more he thought of it, the happiest he was, having the man's cock rubbing on his, his finger invading Jasper's body that moved against his in waves, warm, solid, smooth.

Lost in the moment, Edward was surprised when Jasper pulled away saying,

"We need a condom… and lube..."

As Jasper pulled himself up from Edward's arms, Edward yelled, "Nooo… not yet…"

It was in vain, though.

"Better sooner than later… I won't wanna stop later." Jasper threw over his shoulder, pacing to his room.

Edward was so riled up he couldn't wait lying on the couch. His jeans felt uncomfortable against his knees when he moved to a sitting position to wait for Jasper.

As Jasper walked into the room, he slipped the lube and condoms in his back pocket and lifted his polo shirt up over his head, throwing it to the floor. Climbing onto Edward's lap, he straddled him, pulling Edward's T-shirt off, too, his cock rubbing against Edward's bare stomach and dick, now.

Edward looked up at the man, 'So beautiful', he thought.

Jasper attached his lips to Edward's, his heart beating fast and hard against his ribcage, their pants and gasps filling the room.

Wrapping his hand around both their cocks, Edward jerked them both off, playing with Jasper's foreskin, spreading their pre-cum around their heads. As he watched his own movements, he felt Jasper's forehead on his shoulder, his breath hot on his skin as his chest moved fast with his heavy breathing.

"Edward... shit… love your hand on me… fuck… slow down, slow down… you're gonna make me come." Jasper's words came out in pants.

Edward let his cock go and concentrated on touching Jasper's dick really slowly, pushing him to the edge and back, pulling the skin back and forth, hiding Jasper's cockhead and then exposing it again. It was so erotic he could hardly breathe.

Jasper tried pulling his lips back to his, but Edward kept staring down, charmed by Jasper's skin sliding up, covering the head as if keeping the treasure safe, then down again, freeing it so it could be caressed, cherished by Edward's thumb.

"I wanna suck your cock…" Edward mumbled, holding Jasper's waist, pushing him up.

Jasper stood on the couch, feet flat on the cushions, knees bending against the back of the sofa, straddling Edward's shoulders, to lower his tall form enough so his cock was leveled with Edward's lips.

Edward kept playing with Jasper's dick, pulling the skin, licking and sucking on his head, making Jasper mewl in pleasure, his head falling back, his curls dangling in the air as he braced himself on the wall ahead of him, behind the couch.

"You're gonna kill me… this feels too good."

Edward looked up at the man's honey-colored body, thinking how Jasper's skin was so much sweeter than honey, his pre-cum, crystal droplets of salty-spicy cream.

Edward let go of Jay's cock making him look back at him, both hands gliding to Edward's face.

"I love your jaw… your muscles moving," Jasper whispered, a mesmerized look on his face.

"Fuck my mouth," Edward pleaded, looking up, adoring his god-like man, "Please, I wanna taste you."

Jasper held Edward's face and stared at him, "Are you sure?"

Edward only nodded.

Jasper started thrusting forward slowly, cautiously. Edward felt every inch of his man's member sliding between his lips, his mouth felt full; full of his man, his love.

Every whimper and moan from Jasper would fuel Edward's want, driving him crazier than before.

Reaching for the lube in Jasper's back pocket, Edward retrieved both the bottle and the condom, placing both on his side, before sliding Jasper's jeans down. Jasper helped him with the chore of ridding him from his pants.

As Jasper's ass was in the air, Edward grabbed his cheeks and pulled Jay to him, making Jasper slide inside his mouth deeper and faster than before.

Reaching for the lube, Edward pressed some against his fingers, moving his hand to caress Jasper's crease maddening slowly.

"Ohhhh, yeaaaaaahhh… Right there… please… right there." Jasper's pleading voice trembled as he seemed unsure whether to thrust forward or pull back against Edward's hand.

As Edward slid his first finger inside Jasper's heat, Jay froze, his forehead wrinkling as if in concentration.

"Move it… move your finger," Jasper whispered, "feels so fucking good."

Edward felt Jasper's skin stretching against his finger, taking it in greedily. His cock responded to the sensation the blond man's ass was causing, making Edward add another finger so it would get even tighter.

Everything in Edward shifted. He wanted Jasper so much it hurt him inside. It was a feeling bigger than the mere sensation of sliding inside his man. He needed the bond, the intimate connection.

That was just the beginning. But it was something he needed.

Edward's fingers moved inside Jasper, stretching him, preparing him for his cock. Edward needed it so bad.

It was enough for Jasper to start thrusting forward franticly, fucking Edward's lips that kept sucking around his length, making his body jerk and his lips mumble unintelligible words.

As Jasper pressed forward, Edward would squeeze his ass with his left hand, his right hand fingers pumping inside his lover, spurring him on.

"Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck… I can't," Jasper panted as he looked down at his cock disappearing inside Edward's mouth, "You're so gorgeous… awww fuck! I'm gonna come, fuck yeahhh!"

Edward felt Jasper's hot seed cream his mouth, and even before he was finished, Jasper bent over and attacked his lips, thrusting his tongue inside Edward's mouth, his hands flying down Edward's pants, pulling them all the way down, making Edward lift his hips so he could take them out.

Climbing down the couch, Jasper kneeled between Edward's legs and enveloped Edward's length in his hot, moist mouth.

"Watch your teeth, babe." Edward hissed.

Jasper pulled Edward's cock out of his mouth, smiled shyly and murmured, "Sorry… first timer."

Edward couldn't take it anymore. Pulling Jasper up and back onto his lap, Edward rolled down the condom, and lined up his cock to Jasper's hole, thrusting upward, feeling the head of his cock being squeezed by Jasper's tight ring of muscles on its way in.

"Fuuuuuuck baby… you're so tight… so tight around me."

Jasper lowered himself to meet Edward's short thrusts; Edward's hands were everywhere on Jasper's skin; kneading, stroking, grabbing, pulling him closer to his body.

"Love this… love you inside me," Jasper murmured against Edward's hair, his hands caressing Edward's scalp as he slid down Edward's cock, gently.

"I want you so bad, Jay… I love you."

Jasper reached for Edward's lips, attacking him, devouring him, confessing his love for him in between kisses.

Entangling his fingers with Jasper's soft curls, Edward tugged on them almost painfully, thrusting up faster, soon letting go of Jasper's hair so he could hold Jay's hips between his hands, steadying him.

"Baby… I wanna make you come again," Edward mumbled against Jasper's chest, his lips brushing, kissing, nipping on Jay's nipples.

"I'm so close… so, so close… you feel so good inside me… so fucking good, awww fuck!" Jasper's forehead fell forward on Edward's shoulder, his hot breath in pants against Edward's neck.

Edward's movements were erratic.

"Stroke my cock… I love the feeling of your hand on my cock," Jasper asked huskily.

Edward complied and within minutes, Jasper came, shooting his seed on both their stomachs, his ass clenching, milking Edward's cock into orgasm.

"Aaaahhhh! Ffffuuuck!" Edward groaned loud, his chest moving fast, his breathing in gasps and pants. The need for contact still there, untouched.

His heart swelled with emotion, elated with Jasper in his embrace.

"Come here."

Edward kissed Jasper soundly, caressing his man, tasting his man, and as they both came down, Jasper lay on Edward's chest, his hair spread on Edward's sweaty skin.

Edward slid his fingers through Jasper's hair, combing it, untangling the threads.

As his hand still traveled all over Jasper's skin, Edward's lips curled up, remembering how curious he still was about something he would never be able to ask unless they were this close, this intimate.

"Jay, why do you shave all your body hair?" he enquired letting curiosity win after all.

"I'm used to it since high school… swim team. I was in the swim team in college, too. Why? Don't you like it?"

"I freaking love it," Edward replied pulling Jasper for a kiss.

Looking deep inside Jasper's eyes, he remembered the lines to a song he loved and not really realizing he was doing it, he sang it quietly, "He's got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain, I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain."

Jasper giggled, pointing out, "It's 'She's got eyes'… and I'm not a girl," Jasper's lips curled into a cheeky smile, licking Edward's lips sensually before inviting him,

"Shower?"

Edward let go of Jasper so he could get up, standing right behind Jasper, following him to the bathroom.

He realized he loved Jasper enough to follow him anywhere, for the rest of his life.

* * *

**AN/** Sooooooooo! It's uncomfortable down here! Can I crawl out of under the couch yet? LOL

Jesus... Hey! Have you guys got tissues at home? If not, buy some before next Wednesday. Lisa Fanfic-crazy read the Epilogue and gave me a hard time I never gave her a tissue warning before sending her the chapter!

Hope you liked my red headed not-so-slutty-anymore's story. Leave me your thoughts, please! ;)


	7. Epilogue

**AN/**

**Hey, Girls! Here it is! The Epilogue! **

**Lisa FanFicCrazy told me to tell you guys you'll need tissues? I promise I never meant to write anything that'd make you need them! **

**Anthony is Edward's Dad, BTW. Whenever I started reading this after having written it so long ago, I always thought, 'I think I got the wrong doc open' LOL**

Once more I wanna thank my amazing BETA **sue273**! Again, I played with it after being betaed. So, all mistakes are exclusively mine!

This story is dedicated to my AWESOME friends who always pushed me to writing since the very beginning. I owe them so much!

**Lisa-FanFicCrazy, maryhell, and my sisters Aphrodite's smile, and Mxpi 1970!**

Thank God you are always around to keep me sane and happy!

* * *

**Epilogue**

Anthony looked at himself in the mirror and saw a few more white hairs on his sideburns. He stroked his long fingers along the threads and considered he still looked young, even with some more silver on his head. Inside, though, was old—too old.

Anthony Cullen was a really successful professional, but his private life was a story of loss.

At a really young age he had lost his mother. After almost twenty years of marriage, his wife. About eight years ago, his son—Edward.

Anthony's fingers glided from his hair, to the envelope stuck in the corner of the mirror. He picked it up with his piano player digits, caressed the sender's name and address, reading it in a soft voice as his fingers slid along the words: "Edward Cullen-Whitlock".

The letter had been there for months.

Unopened.

Anthony felt his gut twist every time he looked at that envelope. He passed by it every time he walked in or outside his house at the foyer mirror. Maybe he was trying to punish himself for being responsible for losing one more person in his life, he thought.

He couldn't make himself remove the letter from the corner of the mirror; he couldn't open the letter, either.

Edward, his son, had a lot to curse him for. Anthony had acted like a 'jackass' the last time they saw each other. There was no excuse for what he had done. Edward would be right to curse him, to make him suffer, to make him pay for all the suffering his son had been through—first losing his mother, then being practically disowned by his father.

That day, October seventh, was Edward's birthday.

That was a good day to open the letter that had sat there, waiting to be read, for a few months now.

Taking a deep breath, Anthony reached for the letter opener and ripped the top of the envelope, pulling its contents out, while moving to the couch in the living room.

His house was really spacious and elegant. It was a wonderful house in a great neighborhood—too big of a house for a man with no family, for a man who barely lived.

His fingers caressed the delicate handwriting in black ink. Edward had always had a great hand for writing.

* * *

_Dear Dad, _

_It's been a while, I know. Seven years is a long time. I have to admit I never thought I would ever reach out for you after your reaction that last time we saw each other—it surprised me to no end. _

_I was wrong to assume you were open-minded enough, or even prepared to accept your son was in love with another man. I'm sorry I wasn't more careful back then, putting us both in a situation where words sounded harsher than bullets, when we said things we would never be able to take back. _

**His son's words stung. But they were a lot less violent than he had expected. **

_I don't know if you had time enough to accept the life I chose to live, I hope you did. I don't know if you will feel comfortable while reading what I'm about to tell you, but I need to do it, and I need to do it now._

_Jasper and I are still together, happily together. I love him now even more than I loved him all those years ago. We've had our issues, but that only made me understand where mom was wrong. _

_I have blamed you for her unhappy life. I have blamed you for her illness and eventually, for her death and my loss._

_I can see it now where she was wrong._

_Mom should have told you she wasn't happy with the way things were. She should have said she needed more from you, Dad. She should have voiced her wishes and never settled for the little she got from you instead. _

**Anthony's eyes watered. He would never accept his Elisabeth did anything wrong. He understood what Edward was saying, but in Edward and Jasper's relationship, they were equals, they were supposed to be able to take care of themselves—Elisabeth wasn't. It was his responsibility to look after her and he failed.**

**After taking deep breaths and wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks, he went on reading. **

_Jasper taught me that. He taught me to never hold back. He taught me we need to communicate so our love won't ever be touched by resentment or regret._

_I wish you knew Jasper. He's a really special man. He owns my heart._

**He wished the same thing, he thought.**

_Now, the tough part, or should I say tougher part?_

_Well, Jasper and I moved in together the next summer after we last met. It wasn't easy. Jasper's family was upset and angry, specially his father. The man was ignorance incarnated. He paid us many visits, when he took the chance to accuse me of abusing his son, of making him turn gay, to tell me how I would burn in Hell for dismantling his family like that. _

**Anthony's blood boiled! Who was that man to say such horrible things to HIS son? **

_It was harder on Jasper, of course. He loved his family and had always admired his father. _

_But God always put an angel to protect people in need. He didn't let us down._

_Jasper's older sister Kate was our angel. She moved into our house for a while and became our "mother bear" whenever someone tried to give us any trouble. Being a lawyer made it a lot easier. _

_Two years later, Jasper and I got married. I attached a photograph of the wedding to the letter._

**Anthony looked for the picture among the contents he had dropped on the desk and, retrieving it, saw his son and his husband in dark tuxedos. They looked beyond happy. **

**Turning back to the letter, he continued reading. **

_Kate is the reason I decided to waste no more time being angry at you. She's the reason I'm writing this letter._

**Anthony was apprehensive, cautious while reading on. **

_Kate never married, but her greatest wish in life was to be a mother. I couldn't say no to her when she asked me to be her donor for artificial insemination. _

**Jesus Christ! He thought. **

_She got pregnant of twins and everything was going well with the pregnancy. _

_A week ago, when she was about thirty-seven weeks pregnant, she woke up feeling really bad. She was living with us again so we could make her last few weeks of pregnancy less uncomfortable. _

_We took her to the Emergency Room and they diagnosed her as having a high blood pressure crisis, called pre-eclampsia._

**Anthony was no doctor, but whenever he had heard that term, things were going bad for the pregnant woman involved. Now lots of feelings and thoughts were making his heart clench and his mind reel. **

_The doctors decided to make a C-section, terminating the pregnancy in an effort to save her life. It wasn't enough. _

**Were the babies okay? Did they live? Oh GOD! So many months to read this letter! Why? Oh why did he take so long to read it? He asked himself.**

_Kate was in coma for a few days and passed away this morning._

_Jasper is devastated._

**Anthony's eyes were blurred. He could hardly see through the tears that were welling down his cheeks, thinking Edward had lost one more of his beloved ones. **

"**What about the babies? What happened to them?" he asked out loud now, hoping to read the answer soon. **

_I regret never telling her how special she was to us or how much her support always meant to us. I regret never telling her she was the sister I always wanted to have and how much I loved her as the friend she had been to me these eight years. _

_**Anthony**_**'s heart felt so small; it hurt so much he could hardly breathe. How stupid he was! Why hasn't he looked for his son all those years? Edward needed him and he was just gone.**

_I don't want to regret never reaching out for you, Dad. I don't want to be sorry for never telling you how much I love you and how much I miss having you in my life. _

_This is me saying just that, Dad. I miss you. So much my heart is sore. _

_I love you and I hope one day you find it in you to accept me for who I am, for the man I am, for the husband and father I am. _

_By the way, you are a granddad of two beautiful red-headed boys. Congratulations!_

_I hope I'll be a good father to them. It's a relief to know Jasper already is a great one. _

_Love you, Dad._

_Edward._

* * *

Anthony bowed his head and cried. He cried for his own stupidity. That letter was eight months old. He had missed eight months in his grandkids' lives. He had missed almost eight years in his sons' lives.

Yes. He had to think of Jasper as his son, too. He was the person his son Edward loved and he should have known better before speaking without thinking, acting like a bigoted old man who couldn't accept change.

He should have respected his son.

He should have loved his son more.

* * *

"Jasper, baby! Can you get the door, please?" Edward shouted from the yard.

"Sure, babe," the blonde man replied walking towards the entrance.

As Jasper opened the door, he turned white—it seemed like he was seeing a ghost.

"Hello, Jasper," the deep voice greeted.

"Hi, Sir. How are you doing?" Jasper replied respectfully, moving his hand forward, offering it for Anthony Cullen to shake.

He noticed the man had unshed tears in his eyes.

The older man replied to the question with a nod, seeming to try to hold his feelings at bay.

"Come on in. Edward is in the backyard with the dogs and—" Jasper didn't know how much Mr. Cullen knew. He just didn't finish his thought, as he walked the man outside to see his son.

* * *

As Anthony saw Edward, he also saw the two red headed babies sitting on the blanket spread on the grass. Edward was throwing sticks for the dogs—two black and white Border Collies—to go fetch, and the boys would clap and laugh every time a dog was successful in its task.

As the two men approached, Edward stood up and ran towards his dad, enveloping his old man in his arms, saying "I knew you would come someday. I knew you would!" Tears sprang from his eyes.

Anthony couldn't hold his tears back anymore. All he could feel was his heart swelling with love at the sight of the family before him.

His family.

The older man pulled Edward even closer in a desperate act, trying to reconnect, to make up for the lost time.

"Come… come meet Connor and Phillip!" Edward disentangled himself from his father, inviting him, walking towards Jasper and their kids, pulling his dad by the hand.

What a perfect day.

The end.

* * *

**AN/**

I sincerely hope you liked how my boys' lives turned out to be! They must be exhausted. Twins are such a handful of work and so many sleepless nights!

Lemme pimp my next story a bit. *grins*

_**Mismatches**_ was also written some time ago and was lost in my computer. I found it while trying to retrieve things from my EHD when my laptop died. I worked a little more on it and I hope you guys find some time to read it! Sue betaed it for me and yey! I can start posting it soon!

For now, tell me what you thought of the Epi! I'm dying to know!

XOXO


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